Saturday, April 24, 2010

I was here - Written whilst sitting in the Tattered Cover bookstore in Denver, CO

I was here –

 A great song by Lady Antebellum and everytime I hear it I wonder “What mark have I made? Who will remember me? How will they remember me?”  This song is like a call to DO SOMETHING with my life!  Everytime I hear it I am inspired and defeated at the same time.  But I imagine those two emotions go hand in hand for many people.  On the one hand I am totally jazzed to get out there and do – What?!  And then the defeat kicks in.  How?  Who can I reach?  Who would listen to me?  What am I even trying to say?  I don’t have the literary background to write the ideas and questions that are in my brain.  Most of them aren’t of cultural importance anyway.  Just every thought every mid-twenties individual has – who am I?  How did I get here in life?  How do I move past here to a place personal peace and contentment?  What does actually make me tick? 

            I love doing massage.  I am happy I went to massage school.  The school and the state of Colorado changed my life.  How do I translate my transformation into something meaningful to others?  What if massage doesn’t always do it for me for the rest of my life?  I want to go back to school for History.  Then I get into the physical roadblocks to my happiness.  Namely – money.  But I digress J

 (If I haven’t said it before, I have a hard time staying focused and on topic.  One of the many reasons I will never be a writer J)

 I was inspired this year by a former teacher and currently close friend.  While I was in high school, she was my speech coach.  The woman has had more of an impact on me than all the other women in my life combined.  I am grateful for her continuous wisdom and knowledge, her amazing warped sense of humor, boundless charity, and so many other positive qualities – so many so that I am running out of words to describe the greatness I see in her.  So like I was saying, I was inspired by her this year.  I volunteered to help her coach speech.  I enjoyed competeing in speech in high school and thought “If I affect one student in even the smallest way like she made an impact on me, it was worth it.”  I don’t know if I did, but I got to work with some incredibly talented, passionate and thoughtful kids and it was so worth it.  They were my daily dose of laughter in a life that had been so drab.  

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